2003-08-04

 

I've heard people say that they have two families. Their old family -- the biological one that you get stuck with -- and their new family -- the people you love and surround yourself with. Sometimes, there are intersections between these two sets, but not necessarily. I'm lucky -- I have my "new" family, which happens to include my biological sister, my aunts, my grandparents. But more even fortunately, it also includes Molly, who is as much my sister as MoMo. So, where am I going with this? The thing is, you're supposed to be stuck with the bio family, throughout it all, blood is thicker than water, all that crap. But it turns out that you're not stuck with them after all. If you love them, or have guilt or some other driving force locking you into it, and you choose to continue a relationship with them -- it's your option. No one is actually making you do it, short of the omnipresent guilt that comes with deciding that relationships -- long LONG term relationships -- should sometimes end.
I'm not saying that I'm not going to speak to them anymore; it's not that. But I'm not going to put out any effort in that direction anymore, either.
See, I love my sister(s), my nephew, my aunts, my grandparents... They love me, too. They treat me with respect, as though I am valued by them. Why should I continue to pursue relationships that are almost wholly defined by their absence of respect, support, and affection? What if they are only recently transformed into that sort of "relationship"? Do you hang on for old time's sake? I don't think I can. I'm not going to push anyone away, but in the case I'm referring to right now -- clearly NOT anyone mentioned thusfar in this post -- I'm not going to put out any more effort, either. I don't have the desire to waste my energy that way. I can put it to better use. Like "Dance, Dance, Revolution"!!

posted by bethanye 9:45:00 AM