2002-12-29

 

It's going to be a lovely, lazy day today. At least, if I have anything to say about it. Moly and JR went out to be touristy, which is good. Stevie's playing Age of Mythology on JR's laptop. Leda has returned, and so I'm not freaknig out anymore everytime there's a raindrop. Oh, and it's been pouring for the past few days - maybe a week - and today the sun has come out and it's all pretty outside.

I've taken to reading Rick B. from CRS's weblog. I don't even play the damn game. How dorky is that?

I told Karen awhile ago that I felt like it was only okay to bitch and moan about how "x is better back home" (substitute whatever you like for "x") for six months after arriving in a new place. And I suppose some things are better back home - like my comfort level! But I only have a few more weeks to bitch... Oh! Only seven more bitchable days! Now that Leda's back, I'm feeling much less inclined to bitch, though. I admit it.

This AoM game is too cute. Good thing that we don't have two PCs, or I'd be spending way too much time playing with "War Turtles."

posted by bethanye 12:37:00 PM   

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2002-12-27

 

It's a little shy of being a "Boxing Day Miracle", but Leda came home last night. She was cold and wet, and a little bit thin, but all-in-all she seems to be just fine. She's alternating between sleeping under the covers in our bed and coming out to eat a few bites or get some water.

I'm just so glad to have her back. How is it that I can be so attached to such a stew-pie foul beast?

posted by bethanye 12:47:00 PM   

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2002-12-23

 

Leda ran away last night. Given that I've never had a cat run away and return, I'm not hopeful that I'll ever see her again. It's so fucking unfair. I love that cat.

The whole thing reinforces something that's been weighing heavily on me as of late -- should we have even come here? That's not to say that things aren't going okay for us here. I work at the company that I always wanted to be a aprt of, but now where do I look for my "someday I'll get to do that"? I miss our house terribly, and the lifestyle we used to have. Now, I know that if we had stayed in Dallas, that things would have gotten really tight moneywise - keeping the house would have gotten difficult. But I still miss it awful. And now this? To have my baby kitty run off into the cold? I am so angry generally, and this has just pushed me over. It's gotten beyond, "maybe things would have been better if we hadn't come here." Now I find myself thinking, "maybe Stevie would be better off without me, since I don't seem to be able to do anything right." Certainly, I have to think that Leda would be better off right now if I hadn't selfishly dragged her halfway across the country.

And I know all that "things are tough all over so don't play 'what-if'" crap. I know that it would have sucked if we had stayed home...
but at least there I would have known where I stood.

I have a friend here - Karen. She's a really good person, a good friend. I'm very glad that I've gotten to know her and spend time with her. That wouldn't have happened if we hadn't come here. But that's a lot of percieved negatives for one relationship to outweigh. It's not fair to her to be counterbalance to so many things that (right now) seem dire and terrible.

I miss my kitty.

posted by bethanye 12:09:00 PM   

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2002-12-20

 

Gothy pic courtesy of the holiday party. I did goth out after all. My feet are killing me!

posted by bethanye 9:34:00 PM   

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2002-12-18

 

Been a long time. Read Molly's blog earlier and it cracked me up, so here I am again. New hair - very red this time. Need to get a pic of it. Molly and JR are coming in less than a week - HOO-RAY!! Two Towers came out today, but we won't go to see it until tomorrow evening. The big company holiday party starts at noon on Friday, and if history serves, it will run all night. So, we decided to go on Thursday evening since we won't get anything done on Friday, anyway. I should go shopping for some dress-up accessories for the party - it's themed like crazy, and I'm not sure what is appropriate attire anymore. Maybe I'll just goth out and say it's the late 80's. Is that time-appropriate? I thought that goth was 80's and just never really died. And that's an easy one. I'll just be all gothy. Got to go shopping tonight, then!

posted by bethanye 3:06:00 PM   

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2002-12-05

 

Stayed home sick today. Miserable headache and sore throat have now subsided, which is a relief. Mostly, I've been lying in bed, laptop on knees, trying to get some work done. I am an ultimate fan of wireless networking. Absolutely. Can't live without it now, and I wonder how I did before?

I miss home, though. I miss our friends, our house, shopping for presents with Molly and then going for coffee... I even miss the cold weather. Go figure - you'd think I would be thrilled to not have it. It's supposed to start pouring down rain (and stay pouring down rain) tonight and tomorrow into the rest of the winter. Maybe some weather will perk me up some.

posted by bethanye 5:06:00 PM   

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2002-12-04

 

I look pretty young, but I'm just back-dated. Oh, and I'm a bit down again, though I don't know how much of that is the medication for my skin. If it's just the anti-androgen, then I expect it will pass as I reach some sort of equilibrium. Could be silly to expect that, but that's the bit I'm holding to. Work is... okay. I was all inspired yesterday, but we'll see if that holds up.

posted by bethanye 12:34:00 PM   

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