Some days, I wish I smoked.

No, really. Some days, it just doesn’t pay to be a non-smoker. You can go outside for a few moments, away from everyone else, with this ritualized behavior in which you can find comfort and soothe your addictive need. I feel like I’m jonesing, but I don’t have any (chemical) addictions. What could be the source of this jones? What’s the elusive addiction I don’t know how to assuage?